Friday, March 18, 2011

Backlog: Dream 12/29/2009


Julie and I are in the upstairs of my old house in West Oakland-- it's more like an attic than a living space and the house is rickety and falling apart. A storm is happening outside-- very dark and thunderous. There are large broken out chunks in the roof so that the lightning and rain fill the air around us. The lights in the ceiling are old long florescent, swinging from chains. The lights flash like lightning every time the thunder roars above us. I am terrified but Julie is acting like everything is normal and fine. She stands in the corner of the room, looking calmly though a pile of old clothes.

My telephone is ringing. I am looking around, but can't find it. The rings get louder and then sort of muffle out. Finally, I open the closet door and find my phone hanging on a string attached to a clothes-hanger. I grab it and answer. The person on the other end is Jonathan Lovecchio. He sounds drunk or depressed and his voice is very deep. The reception is very staticcy and the lights are shaking badly at this point. The house seems to be rocking. Jonathan is trying to ask me a question, but I cannot make out what he is saying. Finally, I understand that he is trying to ask me to see a movie with him. ..."A great, fiery action flick at 4:15 sharp."... I agree and the phone cuts out. But then I remember that I have a ton of stuff to do today and will have to cancel, but can not get back in touch with him.

Scene 2-- Jonathan and an few guys are in the kitchen of someone's apartment in a large city-- maybe New York. All of his friends are very nerdy, like movie-nerdy with think bifocals and acne; and they all look very young. They are very drunk, pouring bottles of liquor in large red plastic cups. One of the guys wears a hat like the kid from Where the Wild Things Are.

march forth in madness

the past few weeks have been emotionally draining, telling, and often just plain sad. on top of a bit of an emotional break-down due to weeks of zero energy (thanks to a long-lasting Common Cold... blahhh... i know that sounds lame):

1. i finally ended a relationship that has been gasping for breath/death for quite some time. its end was quite immature and shallow, but that's no surprise, considering... . it's kind of a relief to be done with something that seemed so fake and unwanted for such a long time. but i also feel a little disturbed considering a dream i had about her shortly thereafter... a very violent and demented dream. i woke up telling myself that i could never tell anyone about the dream, it was was THAT horrible. --zipped lips--

2. my dad turned 59, which is a little bit startling

3. the Japanese earthquake/radiation scare (speaks for itself)

4. and an old high school friend left this earth. Kenny had a fatal heart attack at the age of 30. he was always an easy-going, funny, and positive person and friend. something like this is always a shock. sad, to say the least.


The moon is beautiful tonight and the sky sparks with lightning and raindrops. eerily romantic. eerily sad.