Backlog: Dream #2

I am in the back seat of a very shiny limousine. even the inside is shiny. I am fucked up on some sort of drug. i keep rubbing my eyes and every time i pull my hands away from my face, the world is blurry; eyelids heavy. the car is moving fast and the world is blurry and dark-- shades of black, purple, gray. finally i am able to open my eyes enough to make out figures. there is an older Japanese man sitting to the left of me and a younger one to my right. I know that that they are uncle and nephew. then I realize that I am wearing a low-cut red satin gown and that the older man has his hand down my shirt, grasping my breast.

we arrive at some sort of banquet hall or opera house. i'm not sure which. the limo comes to a quick hault. i stumble out of the car pissed off but unable to speak. my skin feels hot.

we are sitting in folding chairs in the middle of an audience watching some sort of graduation ceremony. my dress is now navy blue, and I know that the men I am with have lied to me-- they are Chinese and not Japanese. they are eating escargot and drinking champagne. instead of fucked up, i now feel excited.

people in tuxedos and gowns line up in a row across a long stage and into the aisles to the left and right of that stage. they are of all ages and races. they come up, two at a time, from each side, to a podium in the center of the stage. each person bows and takes an object that i cannot identify from the podium, and then they move off stage and into the aisles until everyone in line has taken from the podium. i feel anxious, as if I am supposed to be one of these people. i try to stand up out of my chair to join them, but cannot. both men have hands on my shoulders and i cannot move.

a moment of silence, and then... a blast of ear-shattering BANG! they have all shot themselves in the head. red everywhere. everyone and everything around turns white and all i see is the red. then i notice an older black man still standing. he has dropped his gun and he is crying. i cannot tell if he has tears of joy or sadness, but i feel very happy that he is alive.